marriage humor

Wife: ‘What are you doing?’

Husband: Nothing.

Wife: ‘Nothing…?  You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour..’

Husband: ‘I was looking for the expiration date.’

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Wife :       ‘Do you want dinner?’  

Husband: ‘Sure! What are my choices?’

Wife: ‘Yes or no.’

Wife: ‘You always carry my photo in your wallet..  Why?’

Hubby: ‘When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.’  

Wife: ‘You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?’

Hubby: ‘Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?’

kambing hitam vs kambing putih

Suatu hari seorang pemuda berpapasan dengan seorang gembala kambing.
Terjadi percakapan seperti ini:

Pemuda : “pak, boleh nanya nih?”

Gembala : “boleh”.

Pemuda : “kambing-kambing bapak sehat sekali. Bapak kasih makan apa?”

Gembala : “yang mana dulu nih? Yang hitam atau yang putih?”

Pemuda : “Mmmm… yang hitam dulu deh…”

Gembala : “oh,kalau yang hitam, ia makannya rumput gajah.”

Pemuda : “oh… Kalau yang putih?”

Gembala : “yang putih juga…”

Pemuda : “Hmmm…kambing- kambing ini kuat jalan berapa kilo pak?”

Gembala : “yang mana dulu nih? Yang hitam atau yang putih?”

Pemuda : “Mmmm… Yang hitam dulu deh…”

Gembala : “oh, kalau yang hitam, 4 km sehari.”

Pemuda : “kalau yang putih?”

Gembala : “yang putih juga…”

Mendengar jawaban itu, si pemuda mulai gondok.

Pemuda : “kambing ini menghasilkan banyak bulu ngak pak, per tahunnya?”

Gembala : “yang mana dulu, nih? Yang hitam atau yang putih?”

Pemuda : “(dengan kesalnya) yang hitam dulu deh…!!!”

Gembala : “oh, yang hitam, banyak… 10kg/tahun.”

Pemuda : “kalau yang putih…?”

Gembala : “yang putih juga.”

Pemuda : ” BAPAK KENAPA SIH SELALU NGEBEDAIN KEDUA KAMBING INI, KALO JAWABANNYA SAMA?”

Gembala : “Oh begini, Dik. Soalnya, yang hitam itu punya saya…”

Pemuda : “Oh, begitu pak. Maaf, kalo saya emosi… Kalo yang putih?”

Gembala : ” Yang putih juga.”

Pemuda : ” >:O >:O >:O ……..:’( :’( :’( “

Green Jobs: Towards Decent Work in a Sustainable, Low-Carbon World (Full report)

ilo.org -

“The report entitled “Green Jobs: Towards Decent Work in a Sustainable, Low-Carbon World” is the first comprehensive study on the emergence of a “green economy” and its impact on the world of work. It includes new data that shows a changing pattern of employment in which green jobs are being generated in many sectors and economies around the world as a result of measures to tackle climate change and to reduce emissions of greenhouse gases. This has also led to changing patterns of investment flows into areas such as renewable energy and energy efficiency at the household and industrial level. Within current policy frameworks, only a fraction of the potential benefits for jobs and development is forthcoming.”

document, here

The economics of ecosystems and biodiversity – for national and international policy makers

preventionweb.net -

This report documents the cost-effectiveness of investing in natural resource management and ecosystem restoration as a tool for adaptation to climate change. Evidence derived from many examples around the world emphasize the need to integrate this option in adaptation planning.
(Source:UNEP,2009)

document, here

What the Experts Are Saying about Hunger and Climate Change

documents.wfp.org -

‘Climate change affects every aspect of society, from the health of the global economy to the health of our children. It is about the water in our wells and in our taps. It is about the food on the table…is at the core of nearly all the major challenges we face today’. UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon,  World Business Summit 2009

document, here

We Must Respond To Climate Change Today

portal.unesco.org -

The climate is changing — faster than ever. Since the beginning of time, Earth’s climate has been changing. From warm periods to cold, life has had to adapt and evolve. But now human activities are having an effect on the dynamics of the planet itself. And most alarmingly the pace of change has dramatically altered, threatening to push many plant and animal species towards extinction.

portal

Review of the Year 2009: Climate change

independent.co.uk -

Despite the crippling economic crisis, green challenges remained prominent on the political and public agendas during 2009. This contrasts with previous downturns, during which the environment has been generally relegated to the “to do later” list. The reason it didn’t disappear this time is because it is ever more clear that “later” might be too late – especially in relation to the climate change challenge. Most serious politicians get this, so do many businesses. The question is can we convert this realisation into practical change?

site

Climate Change: A humanitarian challenge for the 21st century

documents.wfp.org -

“The global climate is changing. Humanitarian organisations must now meet new and increasing challenges to continue their life-saving work. The number of climate-related natural disasters has doubled over the last ten years—and scientists predict in the coming decades that there will be more frequent and more severe disasters due to changes in world weather patterns.”

document, here

2009 Education For All Global Monitoring Report focuses on inequalities

unesco.org -

Deep-rooted inequalities persist in education, condemning millions of children in the world to diminished opportunity and even to poverty. This is one conclusion of the 2009 Education For All Global Monitoring Report,“Overcoming inequality: why governance matters”. Despite the effort made by some of the planet’s poorest countries to improve access to education, inequalities are still entrenched around the globe. At the same time, international aid for education is in danger of decreasing due to the current financial crisis, the report warns.

document, here

Initial Analysis of the Copenhagen Climate Talks

This document from Oxfam says that Copenhagen was a unique opportunity to turn the world’s course away from climate disaster, towards a safe future for all of us on this small planet. Massive global public mobilisation demanded it. But leaders of the major powers negotiated for their national interests, instead of safeguarding our shared destiny. In the closing hours of negotiations, world leaders drew up the Copenhagen Accord. It grabbed headlines, but offered no lifelines – and so may end up on the sidelines. The talks ended with little more than agreement to keep talking, offering just a dim beacon for the way forward. At a time when the urgency of the climate challenge is blatantly clear, stand-offs between the most powerful countries have left the world heading towards 4oC global warming – a catastrophic prospect, most especially for the world’s poorest people. Negotiations must get straight back on track. All countries need to get back round the table and deliver what science – and people worldwide – are demanding: a fair, ambitious and binding deal in 2010.

docoment, here